The Man Rules...........

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's really good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.

If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports

It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No

are perfectly acceptable answers

to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago

is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments

become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat,

you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said

can be interpreted two ways

and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us

to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know

best how to do it,

just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,

Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus

did NOT need directions

and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,

like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit,

not A color.

Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong

and you say "nothing,"

We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,

but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question

you don't want an answer to,

Expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear

is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us

what we're thinking about

unless you are prepared

to discuss such topics

as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.

Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know

men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.